Caregiver's Corner: A Dedication to My Mother

A Tribute to My Mother’s Strength

My mother was one of the strongest people I know. She spent many years battling various illnesses, none of which took away her fighting spirit. Even on her last day on this earth, June 21, 2025, as I watched the lights dim in her eyes, I could see her still holding on to life. Her body could no longer hold that huge, loving, and bright spirit that defined her. I miss her dearly, but I understand that all of us are only here for a temporary season and a purpose.

A friend summed up the prs22ocess of grief so perfectly: grieving is working through the process and building the strength and courage to exist in a space no longer occupied by your loved one. It was always mom and me, especially in the last year of her life, and the thought of moving forward without her is often paralyzing.

What My Mom Meant to Me

A Cheerleader

My mom had more faith in me, often more times than I had in myself. Her encouraging words and constant love were the extra push I needed to accomplish some of my goals. I heard her say, “I am so proud of my daughter.” She thanked me more times than I deserved, even on the last day I saw her.

My Friend

Many people say that a parent can’t be your friend, but I beg to differ. Just as I would with a friend, I shopped, had dinner, and had lengthy conversations with my mom. She was even better than a friend because she would tell me when something “wasn’t my style,” when I was a little too forceful with my words, and she listened more than she judged. We had a daily standing appointment to discuss the soap operas as if they were real life.

My Counselor

My mother always seemed to have the right words at the right time, even when I didn’t want to hear them. She always knew when something bothered me, even when I had a smile on my face. It was rather uncanny at times that she knew what I was thinking without me having to say a word. She’d call and ask, “You alright over there girl? I haven’t heard from you.”

Final Days and Lasting Memories

In the last few months of her life, my mom was in an assisted living facility. She was always so happy to see me coming through the door, but agitated when I had to leave. She would say, “You got to leave? You never stay long! Can’t you stay a little while longer?” She didn’t realize that I had already spent several hours there, but I did stay a little while longer. That was her last request, and I am grateful and blessed to have been there. Today, I wish I could ask her to stay a little while longer, but she wasn’t here long.

Reflections and Lessons Learned

Today, I question whether I did enough, whether I did everything I could have, and whether my mom knew how much she meant to me, my siblings, and all those who loved her. I also think about all the time I wasted being angry with her and how long it took me to realize that she gave me the greatest gift of all—her unconditional love. We had a rocky start, but I am grateful I found the strength to let go of the past and build a relationship with the one who gave me life. Many miss that opportunity because they can’t get beyond their parents’ mistakes and transgressions.

Parents are not perfect beings and will continue to make mistakes as they raise their children. The greatest sacrifice and act of courage sometimes occurs when a mother realizes she doesn’t have the resources or emotional fortitude to care for her children and allows someone else to provide a healthy home. To show love, you must first be shown love, and many parents were not. Children often hold their parents to impossible standards, missing the chance to get to know who their mother or father really is, what happened in their childhood, and giving them a chance to explain and apologize for their absence. Don’t miss that opportunity.

Cherishing the Bond and Moving Forward

Don’t let minor disagreements, stubbornness, or misunderstandings rob you of the chance to share an irreplaceable bond that only exists between a mother and her children. It can leave you with many days of regret and guilt. Through all the highs and lows, my mother taught me the importance of forgiveness and compassion. Her ability to move forward after disagreements inspired me to do the same, reminding me that love is stronger than pride or stubbornness. Even now, her wisdom guides my decisions and shapes the way I approach my relationships with others.

Looking back, I realize that the small moments we shared—laughing over old stories, sitting quietly together, or even disagreeing—were just as meaningful as the big milestones. My mother taught me how to appreciate life’s ordinary joys and reminded me that love is often found in the details. I carry her lessons with me every day, striving to be as supportive and present for others as she was for me. Although you are no longer here, Mom, I am grateful that you no longer have to live with depression, pain, and the feeling of being a burden. I miss you dearly. I love you, Mom!